Missing Southern

Yesterday afternoon I spent an hour or so reading all the blogs of my dear Southern friends. I savored all your wisdom and drank in the spiritual water shared, drank deeply until my heart ached. As it does now.
Don't laugh at me for filling my blogs with more apologies. I am a dyed-in-the-wool apologiser and it's not likely to change anytime soon. Words do not come as easily to me as they do to some of you, but I want to try to let each of you, my dear friends, know how I feel right now.

I am sorry that, when I had the opportunity to spend time playing games with friends of a Sabbath evening, I chose to stay in  my room and waste time on my computer instead. Thank you, Joel, Ivan, and Kristin, for inviting me to share life with you. I regret that I did not join in.

I am sorry that I counted my sleep more dear than fellowship with hymnsingers. Every hymn-sing I attended was pure joy, and I attended too few.

I am sorry for all the times I ate my meals alone in my room instead of joining in with the friendly tables or taking time to share a table with a lonely stranger. I'm sure that my digestion suffered as a result.

I am sorry for all the times I sat on my bed and watched videos on YouTube instead of talking with my precious roommate. Christy, thank you for bearing with me all semester. When God arranged for us to be roommates He gave me an incredible gift; I regret that I did not appreciate it as I should have. Thank you for your friendship and love. I miss you.

For my self-imposed solitary confinement I apologise to each of you, my dear friends. Rich blessings of fellowship were daily offered me, and I chose instead to fill my time with empty pleasures. Thank you for not giving up on me, but continuing to issue invitations I was likely to refuse.
Now I am done at Southern, and not planning on returning to the East anytime soon, and my heart aches with regret for all the missed opportunities. A wealth of friends were offered me, and I chose not to fully enjoy them. God is restoring my heart, and as He does His work I see more clearly what I have missed.

I must sound an awfully gloomy person. Really I am not! As I take more time to know my God and He restores the joy to my heart, regrets over lost time creep to the surface. By the grace of God, from this point on I will endeavor to live life to the fullest and embrace all the joys and sorrows alike as a blessing of life from my Creator. I thank Him for the richness I can glean from reading my friends' words, and I thank each of my friends for continuing to share life with me, even from thousands of miles away. I love you all.